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| aferdeity 2008-07-08 ch 9,  | abuseI have never had a chapter dedicated to me before. I am honored! I loved this chapter it was very good. I seriously doubt that he will die. He can't die. Isn't the pain in her stomac dangerous for apregnant woman? I can't wait for the next chapter! |
| Danica 2008-07-03 ch 3, anon. | abuseHey, Your story is really interesting but you definitely need to pick 1 name and 1 nickname for your main character. By chapter 4 we had Mariya, Maria, Marie, Ria and Mari. Seriously, no one has *that* many nicknames in use! |
| aferdeity 2008-06-30 ch 8, | abusethis is getting interesting. It has been so long since you updated! You must contiue. I have to know what happens next. |
| Kirian Pensky Lanatogue 2008-06-20 ch 4, | abuse*jaw drops*It reminds me of something...nice so far though... -Vampriss2 |
| Kirian Pensky Lanatogue 2008-06-20 ch 2, | abuseGood lord! She fainted! And Tyrone seems like a Ja-ackass..Nice story so far though... -Vampriss2 |
| bongi 2008-06-10 ch 6, anon. | abuseI am hooked. Your story is captivating and I can't wait to read more. I like your plot, characters and writing style. |
| aferdeity 2008-05-02 ch 5, | abuseI love this story.Your writing has matured a lot. I cannot wait to read more. Udate soon! |
| princessmili 2008-04-18 ch 5, anon. | abuselol, loved it. what's cyborg? |
| princessmili 2008-04-15 ch 4, | abuseevil b#stard! how dare he? i hope he doesn't find her, not anytime soon...why r ur male characters so evil? and his the mate? poor ria... |
| princessmili 2008-04-13 ch 3, | abuseah! update soon! the suspense is killng me! i LOVE this story by the way. couple of mistakes, nothing grand. brought u spelled as braught. can't remember anything else. as for ur first reviewer, i disagree, i was hocked from the first chap. all i could think was, what? why is n't she gone yet? make that sob suffer miserably. that beep! finally, i'm glad she left... but hurry and update. oh, please tell me he won't find her quickly and she'll be safe and NOT die! oh, by the way, (says in tiny voice) i hope its a happy ending. |
| misery sister 2008-04-12 ch 1, | abuseThe thing is, your style is great, although you are missing a bit of your punctuation (but I suggest a Beta reader for a quick fix to that). Anyway, your pacing is nice, it's not going too fast, nor is it going too slow. You have nice descriptions, in which you don't overdo it, but you give enough for good imagery. The thing is, you have all the style, but no substance. I can't find myself being interested in reading the next chapter because I haven't grown an attachment to any of the characters or the storyline itself. The first chapter is important in that your reader must be able to connect with something in the story, for him/her to review and read the next chapters. You have everything else, but you lack this. Don't worry, you have the skills! I'm sure you can do a great story. :) |