Reviews for Cobra Venom - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Cobra Venom

Abel Articulate 2008-07-29 ch 1,	abuseI really liked the part where you said, "With a judicious leer she delights in her devastation." I thought that this particular line really set the tone for the rest of the piece and you can see that this isn't a typical love poem. I thought it was very powerful and you have a great ability to get your message across without watering down your content. Good work! I'll definitely have to read more of your work in the future. I didn't find anything that I disliked, but also I don't write too much poetry. I found it very entertaining though.
Alexander Will 2008-05-15 ch 1,	abuseWonderful! This has great wording, and it speaks to me on a deeper level than usual because I've been a victim of a woman with serpentine qualities...Anyway, would you see my recent two poems? "The Red Hat" and "Uncut" are the titles. I would also like to join the staff of your community forum, 'Life's Journey'. How might that be possible? Again, "Cobra Venom" is something else! --Alexander Will
Hidden Sword of Truth 2008-05-09 ch 1,	abuseI just updated it. I thought about all your reviews and I did some editing for these poems. Thanks so much for all of your help.
Jesse the Storyteller 2008-04-19 ch 2,	abuseI like the two last lines, and like the phrase "condescending sigh." This line - "for we are rotten to our core." is really cheesy. These are demons. Why would they say that? I see them as being far more bad-** than that. And - "Bleed her dry to there is no more," don't you mean 'til there is no more? Also - "We'll burned down.." burn? "The yelled and.." they? I also like "Sending superfluous chills of fright".. I like that you used big words in the midst of the poem. It gives it class. -Jesse Behold the review marathon! (Link in profile)
Jesse the Storyteller 2008-04-19 ch 1,	abuseThis is an interesting poem. I really like the ending. :D "Wooing, bending, breaking his concentration / As she slithers into his heart a breaking" You said breaking twice in these two lines and it kind of ruins the effect. :( Maybe find another word for "breaking his concentration"? I like the imagery of "the flames lace her face" but... "Destruction smolder in her eyes" shouldn't that be smolder[s]? -Jesse
surrealphobia 2008-04-14 ch 1,	abuseYou're back! Wow I was wondering if you were ever going to come back and write more. This poem had such and androgonous feel to it. It was feral but I loved it. It was sensual but dangerous. So many contradictions and feelings, whew. I can't even say how much I love it!! Great work as always and best of luck. Surreal
Azena Kira 2008-04-14 ch 1,	abuseFirst off, personally I think I would change the title... Take Her out of it. Honestly I think it would sound better if it was just 'Snake Charms.' I liked the rhyming. It really worked well with the poem. The only line I think I had a problem with was "As she slithers into his heart a breaking." The '...a breaking' part seemed a little stretch in my opinion. Like, it seems as if you had a problem coming up with it, you know? Other than that I really liked the poem. It was really good. Keep writing. ~Azena

Return to Top