Overall this isn't bad. You've got some great images and it's quite cohesive in its flow. I do have a few things to comment on though and I'll try to be as coherent in this review as possible.

On the second line, "face" should be "faces" since you're talking about multiple mountains. I'm also thinking that "fall" should be "falling" - just in terms of syntax.

My main issue with this entire piece is with the proliferation of adverbs. I'm not saying to never use them but try to use them more sparingly in this piece. For example, "stand shakily" could simply be "shake". Same meaning, less empty syllables. Then "leaves whisper frantically, panicky" doesn't need the "frantically" as we get that feeling through "panicky". "wind runs swiftly" doesn't need the "swiftly" - we get the image of running without it. Basically, condensing those out would free up this piece a bit and give it a less plodding flow. We don't need every single verb or noun assigned an adverb or adjective. Try to pick more specific verbs/nouns or simply see if you're over-describing - which I assure you is possible.

The reason I point out these adverbs is because they weigh this poem down, almost unnecessarily. Like I said previously, they make the flow seem slightly "plodding" and stretch it out to a point where I almost get bored from you telling me so much description.

One other thing - try to cut as many pronouns as possible. Again, they feel superfluous in places.

Good luck,
Midnight

Review game!

May I just start by saying that I really like the poem. I like the theme of the poem and I especially like the way in which you have chosen to convey it. The imagery is powerful.

First stanza: I like the four lines about the mountains. The image of grief is well-portrayed. The image of the trees trying to keep their leaves doesn't work quite as well for me - I think the word choice here may be a bit over-done. For the image of the wind spreading the news, I like the first two lines (And as...bring,) but some of the other two lines feels a bit overdone.

Second stanza: In this stanza, I particularly like the ocean images and the "swirling...each other" lines. Those lines have a really nice rhythm, I think. I didn't like the "puff to puff" - it felt like a weak word choice for what you were describing.

Third stanza: I think the first line doesn't need a comma at the end in my opinion. I think it would create a nice run-on image if you removed it. I particurly like the "the flowers...they die" image and the rhythm in the last two lines of this stanza.

Fourth stanza: I don't know if it's a typo but "set" seems to be the wrong word choice for the first line. Also, the punctuation in those first few liens feels a bit off. I like the image of human flowing and bending through the steel and stone. The lines "all the while...human beings." seem a little bit over-done. I sympathethise with what you're trying to convey here but I don't know if there's a subtler way to make the point. I also didn't know what you meant by "and onward" in the second-last line.

So, overall, I really liked the images and the way you wrote the poem. Every now and then, the word choice feels a bit over-the-top which I think spoils the more evocative images but it's a small thing in such a nice poem.

I want to thank you for reading and reviewing one of my poems. I'm returning the favor.

I like the personfication in this poem. I haven't read many, if any at all, that uses it and quite well. This is beautifully written. I will definately be passing this on to others.

JESSE darling!

WOW. Where the hell have I been not keeping up with your work? This poem is brilliant. So much imagery and great word choice. =D Awesome, awesome poem. Write on!

~Anna~ ^_^

The vivid imagery and evocative word choice is wonderful and effective, and it draws the reader right into the scene. Really great work.

Just a few minor suggestions:
'To see a light that scorches them and they die'
--the 'and they die' sounded out of place to me. 'before they die' seems to me like it would have more continuity and better rhythm.

'The people that set on this earth's mighty face'
--It is becoming very common to use 'that' in conjunction to people, but I personally think 'who' would be better.

'All the while raining pain and suffering
On their fellow human beings.'
--these lines are shorter and less imagery-ridden as the others and thus sound out of place. Also, 'pain and suffering' sounds unpleasantly cliché for a poem that is otherwise so fresh and original.

Overall, very nicely done.

The title confused me at first, but after reading the poem it became a lot clearer. There's definately a lot of imagery to be found here! I could almost hear the earth.

This poem is exceptionally good! My favorite part is the line that described the clouds crashing into each other. There really was nothing about this poem that i didn't like. I can tell that you definitely have a gift for writing, and if i were you, i would use this poem as a building block for your writing, so that you can always look back on something done right.

Good. Pleasingly full of verbs and vivid, violent imagery.