FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| simpleplan13 2008-04-22 ch 1,  | abuseI like the transition a lot. From wishing to be it and then not. The metaphor of the feather was also really well done and the descriptions were nice as well. Really nicely done. |
| xEmoMuffinx 2008-04-14 ch 1, | abuseI wonder what happened to your anti-freeverse side. Not much to comment about, except that the line "That I am not that" is a bit awkward...what with ending with "that"...it just seemed a bit awkward and detached. It even starts with "that" already. I'm not quite sure how your rhythm went, but when I read through it, my interpreted rhythm was a big jerky? I don't know. Hey, at least your FP is alive. Mine's... Dead. *pokes it* |