The thing about this engaging, and witty story is that it has an element of fanfiction, and not so much - like, it doesn't have that raw element of a story that I think agents are looking for.

I know vignettes are like prose-poems, but there's not that
-this character is great
-whats gonna happen?
-wow, this is weird
or
anything that makes you feel obligated to finish this, as in:
Do I really want to know what happens?
I know it seems confusing, sorry

--Gaby (:

I found this link in FanFic and I followed it. I'm glad I did :) I can't wait til the next chapter.

Hahaha good for Nat. :) Small rebellion against doing Geometry right away. So there indeed! xD
Good chapter!

I'm really enjoying reading this story! The vignettes suit the story well, and I particularly love the ending to this one. It's so stereotypical but so true. Keep up the marvelous work!
~Marivan

Short, snappy writing style. I think I could like your narrator. :]

Bahahahaha funny! So do I...
xD

LOL spanish bit- i can totally sypathise for I feel exactly the same.
Poor Ryan. Not really. There are too many men like him. Girls too, but I'm more concerned about the men...
Great job. Keep up the good work and Merry Christmas!
Kiku

God! Last year, wehn I was a freshy, I could so relate to that!
Well.. our gym classes weren't co-ed but none of the "popularites" even payed attention unless they were a "jock-popularite"... Thats like a highbread of cliques. It was funny to beat the dumb ones though...
Good job!
Kiku

There we go! That little interesting snippet about Mia brought some interest! I understand about it just being the begining and how some stories don't have anything angsty or edgy about it. I read tons of books like that. Just you saying the plot iscoming later helps.
I'm glad to tell you if I see anything I think could help.
this is going pretty good so far!
I hope you get into college. I know I really want to go to and I'll do just about anything to get into Willamette but my grades aren't exactly the best.
Anyways, just wanna let yah know i'm here for yah!
Kiku

Let me start off with saying that don't feel bad about those agents. Also, it often takes a novel tons of editting and re-dos before it does get published.
I've only noticed two things really about this that might mess up your chances with agents.
The first is that there doesn't seem to be an incentive to read it. A force that makes you not want to put it down. It's almost like reading the diary of a really boring person. Add more interesting details that makes a reader say "oh my god" or "What's she gonna do?"
The second is that you aren't discriptive at all. You can communitcate the characters feelings and whats going on like no ones business but you don't describe anything around her. All we know is that she lives in the suburbs, but where are these suburbs? New York? California? Location helps us place her and relate better to her. What does her room look like? The house? The art room? We can't picture her there if we don't know what it looks like. Yea, there are things a writer wants to leave to the imagination, surroundings are rarely one of them. Also, we don't really know what most of the characters look like.
I say this to you as someone who is great with looks and location, but completely sucks with emotions and actions.
I suggest you go through what you have so far and spend just a little bit more time telling us what you imagine these things to look like.
Other than that it's good and has major potential.
Don't be so stressed about not getting published or your writing. You've got tons of time to grow more as a writer and from reading your fanfictions since forever I know your great. Just have faith in yourself and keep trying!
Kiku

This is really, really good. I love the character. She is very original and we can all relate. Great, great job!

Hm, that is an interesting, if not slightly sad way to think of highschool. (Referring to the last two lines)

It's true, but sad.

Great chapter! Update soon.

That's a nice sibling bonding moment! :)

Having thoroughly enjoyed your stories on FanFiction, and having heard all about your novel, I figured I would take a look at it. Not surprisingly, it was fabulous.

I've really enjoyed it thus far, and I do hope you post more of it. And I also wish you success in your bid for getting this published. You've really captured the mindset and vernacular of a teenager in a way that some adult writers do not, which makes it really captivating to read. Again, I really enjoyed it, and can't wait to read more.

~Marivan

If that's your real name, then that's still pretty awesome. Although I totally understand where you're coming from with the mention of the substitutes messing up names. :) Some of the things they come up with are hilarious.

Update soon?