FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| La-Jari 2008-05-16 ch 1,  | abuselikin this a lot |
| simpleplan13 2008-04-19 ch 1, | abuse-or you're just an angel?... I might stick with are you since that's how you have it in the line before -Whenever say a prayer for me/since you said I could ask you... this confused me. Who is saying a prayer for you? And what did he say you could ask him? -nowhere to go.. with nowhere -if I was wandering/your sweet words sweetened my heart... ok the if I was is future tense and the words sweetened is past. So I would change it to When I was wandering and keep the next line or keep the first line and make it your words would whichever you like better -It's not like an endless ending.. you can't really have an endless ending I dont think I like this... it's interesting how it progresses from the beginning to the end. I liked that a lot. I also love the whole angel thing and then later on the whole wing thing. Nice job. |
| fatbird33 2008-04-15 ch 1, anon. | abuseit had a nice flow to it. |
| The Reverse Edge Blade 2008-04-14 ch 1, | abuse私はこのみじかいものがたりがだいすきでした！Favorite List! ことばはほんとうにすてきでした。そして、たとえもいいです！゛てんしのふだつのはねをきようようします゛； よかったですね！ もうをかいてください！ The Reverse Edge Blade |