This is very powerful and moving. Especially the first two stanzas. Poetry is supposed to evoke emotion, and those first two stanzas did. That's really all I can say about them.

Something in the poem changes when you start with the word "lucky." It becomes bitter and sarcastic in addition to hurt and angry. Somehow it doesn't seem to fit with the rest of the poem. The sentiment is there and it's good, but I don't know how it works with the first two stanzas. Good job though.

No, not "lucky one."

I understand the emotion behind this piece, but it's still disturbing on a couple of levels. Your language choice is raw, honest, candid, and that's probably what I like best. I sympathize what you went through, but please never relapse.

Death is not something to wish for, Bee.