|Reviews for Lost|
| Peevxwm Vaj 4/16/08 . chapter 1
Yay for Metapoetry! I've been there, and that is the strength of the poem. People can relate to that feeling, especially in a community like fictionpress. I know that the rules belong to you in poetry, but you could watch punctuation and grammar: lines 5-9 has a comma splice, line 10 dangles too much and I don't understand why your eyes need happiness, and I would put some sort of punctuation after tears in line 11. The real strength here is the content, not the style, so be careful not to distort the language too much to be poetic. Like I said, I really like it.