FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| HiddenValor 2008-04-16 ch 1,  | abuseWhoa, that's dark, my friend, but it's good and something you would write. :P I do think it needs more descriptive elements, other than the color of the book. The characters need a little sentence or two about each of them in terms of their personalities and physical characteristics. There's also a few grammar mistakes that you missed. Other than that, I liked it, especially the part about the vines killing her being fueled by her hatred. Serves her right. HiddenValor |