FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Froztique 2008-04-23 ch 1,  | abuseGreat idea! It's kind of like a rebel against pop culture which I'm totally with. And if it's not...then...-_-; Anyway, great job as usual! HeartsSmilesAndWhatnot ANI |
| Lurid Black 2008-04-23 ch 1, anon. | abuse=D It's those last 3 lines that really sum up everything, and with it being told so clearly, makes this poem so lucent. Write on! |
| perpetual questions 2008-04-21 ch 1, | abuseGreat message, and although not particularly original, it's something people need to be reminded of more often. The flow is pretty good. The last three lines end it nicely. I think perhaps it could be slightly improved if it were in stanzas. It's really not bad as is, but I would just experiment with grouping up the lines to see if that could make it even better. One line that I didn't get was 'Is to be perfect.' It sounds like there's a word missing or something like that, not sure. Overall, good work. -Adrian. |