FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| visvisvivimvi 2008-05-25 ch 1,  | abuseonce again, great imagery. very vivid poem about growing up. third line of first verse might flow better if it was 'glitter glued on top of gold.' very very good use of words, though. |
| Flaran 2008-05-14 ch 1, | abuseThe wordplay in this poem is beautiful-- I love your alliteration. The only negative/uncertain point I have is with the ellipses. I don't see where they are necessary; that's just my opinion though, not trying to censor you. Keep up the amazing writing! ;) -Flaran |
| clumsybella15 2008-04-25 ch 1, | abuseI like the line "glue the glitter to the gold". It's beautiful. |
| Perfectly Paradox 2008-04-15 ch 1, anon. | abuseI like all the alliteration with the 'g' words. I really like the last line too. |