maybe she just doesnt like cookies and granmas...eh oh well i liked it funny simple ad it had a donut in wats not 2 love?

I quite like this. I loved the humour and simpliity. Well done!

that is so horrible. she didn't get a doughnut after all this hard work and all the discriptions. still it's funny. I liked it. thanks for the doughnut is it chocolate?

Wow, that was slightly frightening. Well written though. Good job! I really liked it.

SMILES!

dAnIeLlE, who has been slightly sick latley and hasn't had a chance to do any reviewing. sorry.

Funny, but you can do so much better. Adding more details will make a huge difference.

The layout can be better. It's a script in my point of view, so you should apply the scrip formats. Your bold-ing and underlining are totally wrong. They should be all in italics. And your "stage instructions" should not only be in the brackets but italicized as well. For her thoughts, they should be italicized as well. But when a word the need that effect in a though, you un-italicize it, get it?

Anyway, this was enjoyable. I really think you should add more chapters and make a huge story out of this. I can imagine everything now. Every chapter unlocks something new about out main character. Yeah, awesome. Good luck!

Ru

Ahaha. I love your use of capitals, bold print, underlining, and italicism - I could really imagine the EMOTION and the ANGER in Candi's voice, and that led to awesome facial expressions and whatnot. So expressive.

And funny.

the first thing I thought was.. Wow she's freaking out about a donut. Haha. You should add on!