Reviews for Only - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Only

Solemn Coyote 2008-04-21 ch 1,	abuseThis was more simple and direct than I usually write, but it's still pretty. One or two of the images here ("one flap away" and "raggedy thing" in particular) really caught at me. Likewise, I almost felt like the moon was another character in the poem, for the brief few words where it was mentioned. I approve of that. Also the closing line, which has a bit of a kick to it. From a more concept-based perspective, I think I can agree with this poem. Or, at least, I can agree with what I thought it was about. Loneliness can be an armor of sorts. Or at least a sweater against the cold. It grows inefficient and uncomfortable over time, but casting it off would leave it lonely too. I think that's one of those 'no easy solution' type situations, there. My critique here is kinda vague, and I apologize in advance for that. I think this poem is generally strong, but it gets weakened a little when it turns passive. Example: "Harbored within, hoarded selfishly." doesn't have nearly the same kick as "The moon feels it too," In a poem like this, which concentrates on poignancy of feeling for the most part, it helps a lot to go back and switch a couple sentence into a more active voice after you've finished writing it. Other than that, I don't really have any significant critiques that I can make. This poem was worth reading. Keep writing. -SC
Faramirlover 2008-04-17 ch 1,	abuseOh that was beautiful. I loved it. :) I know this review isn't as good as the one you gave me but its the best that I can do. Sorry.
Vinyl Cupcake 2008-04-16 ch 1,	abuseI can very much relate to this poem, because I tend to be a loner. I liked your reference to the moon and also that last part: "The secluded corner, once epitomizing peace, now a tomb. After time, alone becomes old, worn out." That captured loneliness perfectly. Fantastic job and keep on writing! :)
from beneath the bell jar 2008-04-15 ch 1,	abuseGreat piece. Lovely imagery, esp. in the first stanza. Everything is perfectly expressed - very poetic wording. When I read the bit about the goose, it made me think of a goose who'd lost his life mate and wandered alone, lost. Great last stanza as well. Very poignant ideas and intelligent language. Well done. Adding to my c2. Maybe, if you have a minute, you could check out my poem "Silence"?
Nyx Raisa 2008-04-15 ch 1,	abuseWell. That's depressing. I suppose that was the point though, right? The last bit just kinda kicks your face... "A raggedy thing that needs, like all else, to be abandoned." That's a very good set of lines. I think everyone has felt like a raggedy thing. A raggedy thing is a good description. Simple, but very apt. Good poem. I liked it.

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