I love all of your short little poems. Their perfect, honest, to the point and yet have beautiful little hidden meanings in them. Amazing job ! Keep it up =)

This was almost like a haiku. I really liked the imagery, very evocative yet concise. I enjoyed it.

i like the first two lines. i think i might like the poem better though if i knew what "naqam" is

the second line has 8 syllables instead of 7, but other than that syllable count is good

and i like the format you put it in =]

I like the format of this a lot and the phrase in the last line was really interesting and powerful. Really great job!

interesting, really interesting. i learned a new word from it.
i think the middle line has eight syllables, though.

Review Game:

So I did like this, but it seems like it needs WAY more to it. It's a perfect stanza or part of a stanza, but I feel like that's all it is, I don't think it's a poem yet. Good job on what you have though

Pretty!
I have a feeling this is based on some type of story, though as I'm clueless as to which. =P I think I'll look up 'Naqam'.

The only thing I see here is that there are eight syllables in the second line, when there should be seven. Maybe you can think of a synonym for desire that has only two syllables?