FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
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| earthspark 2008-04-16 ch 1,  | abuseI think that you have a interesting voice but more deatail would really make this piece come alive. What does it feel like to have your heart buldgend? what do you smell when your near the person you have feelings for? can you articulate your conflict better. That will really make this piece stand out |
| xxInsanityxx 2008-04-16 ch 1, | abuseaw i like this :) |