This is really great! Honestly, it's so poetic and beautiful and tells such a wonderful story, albeit a sad one. You're lying when you say this is your first rhyming poem, right? Dude, that's so amazing. Going on my fave list! Check out some of mine if you like.

Much Love,

*K's Moonshadow*

Really, really good. I happen to love poems which rhyme and are about death *I'm morbid* and your's really is one of the best so far...

That's great! I absolutely love this poem! I tend to get poetry stuck in my head, and I have wandered around for about a month (since I first read this) with the stanza containing "exchanged for the truth and paid for in lies" echoing there. Something weird was, I printed this off to show my friends (who, btw, love it as well) and somehow my 10th grade English teacher got a hold of it, and she swears that it's my writing! I'm choosing to take that as a compliment of the highest degree.

Keep writing!

*stares at xoe* whoa... mesa likes... *adds to faves* NICE job. i love the last line, to me, they always make the most impact. NICE job. very well done!

omg if only i could write poetry half as good as yew.. x.x...

OMG that was sad! But still very moving. I think you captured the essence of why something like this is so horrifying

*screams* by the Goddess, that was one of the BEST poems I've EVER read! _! Arr, I hate you now, Xoe... *huffs* u.u* Fine, be that way *hugshugs* I love it! I love it!

*sniff* *sniff* *sniffles.. snort* o.O this was soo sad! And if that was only your first try at a rhyming poem.. wow! i loved this poem even if it was so sad! please keep writing!

angst. this is really good

Wow, xobo! Much as this totally disturbs me, its REALLY good. I'm guessing this is the poem that scared you? DON'T DO ANYTHING STUPID! :) J/K i know you wouldn't. Really good poem even if it is a bit messed up.

So sad... I'm going to go and cry now...

Damn. Why do I even read the drama section if I know I'll end up depressed? I hope to find more as good as this.

*sniffles* xoexoe...that wuz saaaaaaad! but it wuz a good poem despite. the main thing i caught wuz that each line could b a little shorter, and dun be afraid to use contractions everyonce in a while. That and cutting out repeated 'her's in a line would shorten them sufficiently to make it sound better read aloud. despite that fact that it really truly almost made me cry, it wuz a really good poem and i luffed it. . a little cry ish a good thing if it really lets ya knoe yer alive.

WOW! I have not read anything that captured me like your poem just did. You are an awesome writer no matere what anyone says. Keep it up

I didn't feel like logging in. That was depressing. Still, it was a great poem, xoe. But it's so sad! WAAAAAAAAH! ::sniffs:: Keep up the good work.