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| The Hippie Nerd 2008-07-13 ch 1,  | abuseA great piece- and another great piece within that piece itself. The parentheses are also very effective, I especially like the line "...from a blonde boy (man) who made her...". I feel like I can really relate to this (well, except for the blonde boy, but anyhow), and part of why it works so well is that a lot of people probably feel similarly. Great job! |
| Durak 2008-06-23 ch 1, | abuseI like very much how you made a poem within a poem, without detracting from either or forcing one to make the other happen. As someone else said, the two bits in parentheses (especially "boy(/man/)" made it that much more interesting. But I don't really understand why the world "became even more topsie-turvie." In the end, though, I think it's the fact I can relate to this girl that makes me like it the most. |
| electric feel 2008-06-12 ch 1, | abusei love the variations you provide in parentheses. |
| Lost in A World of Pain 2008-05-26 ch 1, | abuseHey there, sorry to long absence in reviews. A very good poem I must say, although I guess I'm sounding very repetative in saying that. Hopefully you don't mind hearing that. This poem speaks to the reader, at least it spoke to me, maybe I'm generalising too much. The message within a message, I think is really brilliant. This technique is something I've always wanted to try, yet never had the courage to. You make it seem so easy and effortless as you masterfully put the words and thoughts together. It's brilliant how you convey what so many people go through, they feel that they want to help somebody, yet the person that is crying out for help the most (silently crying out for help) is the person themself. The message still remains, and if you ever need to chat, for anything at all, as always, I'm only an email away. Great work. Keep it up. Sorry for sucky review. |
| a silenced revolution 2008-04-17 ch 1, | abuseI love that poetic devise where the writer bolds words that form a separate sentence. 'instead she got falling marks' --perhaps this is meant to be 'failing marks'? not sure. anyway, nice. |
| East-0f-Eden 2008-04-17 ch 1, | abuseI thought it expressed your emotions well I love the cafeteria walls line and flying but failing. It was great. |