Reviews for The Secret of St Oren's

Reviews For: The Secret of St Oren's

Decoris Verbum 2008-05-06 ch 6,	abuseThanks :-) liked the new chapter. I maybe would like to have seen more of Derek...? I was just curious as to why he would just forget about the project and avoid Camden. But oh well. Anyways... Woah! I can barely stand to see what's in the chest--it can't really be gold if it is so light...hmm...strokes chin Good job! The story's winding to a close. Yay for climaxes! (Climaxi??)
Decoris Verbum 2008-05-03 ch 5,	abuseERgh! Sorry for the delay! Life has been hectic, but I'm glad I finally found time to read the new chapter! Yes, this was a big 'emotion' chapter. However, I think that it would have come across as the dramatic-peak in the story if the emotions were more 'shown' than 'told.' For example: "Camden would’ve immediately shared her theory to Derek. But ever since she overheard that conversation, she refused to have anything to do with him." This and such other sentences really 'told' us how she was feeling, if you know what I mean. Some things should be told, some should be shown. The key of writing is finding that balance. What else...great riddles, love how you incorporate classics...I'm not that familiar with all classics, but I can try to make a guess. That's a really good idea! If I think of something substantial, I'll post it. ;-) -Decoris-
Decoris Verbum 2008-04-25 ch 4,	abuseHey! You pull it off again. I liked this chapter a lot: it was longer, full of that kind of 'mystery story' aura, and the clue rhymed a bit smoother ;-). I am a freak about books about books, so to speak, so I adore how you incorporate literature. However, it would be cool if you could have them dig just a hair deeper into the books, maybe. Or maybe I'm just an insane bibliophile. Great job developing the characters! I'm excited for the next story; write, write, write!
Decoris Verbum 2008-04-22 ch 3,	abuseYes...nice poem/clue/riddle. Maybe a hint of originality is needed, something that sets this mystery apart from all others. Right now I'm excited to keep going, but if there was a littlw more twist...hmm, I don't know. Also, maybe show a little more character in Camden and Derek, as in how they completely clash. What is it that really annoys Camden? What does Derek think of her? That kind of stuff. Maybe you could do this with a little more dialogue, making the chapters longer. AAH, long review. Anyways, well thought-out riddle. any possibilities!
Decoris Verbum 2008-04-19 ch 2,	abuseThis could turn out to be interesting, Keep an eye out for what tense you want to stick to, but otherwise...not bad. :-)

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