FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| - RomanticallyCliche - 2008-08-25 ch 1,  | abuseoh. so cute and sweet! |
| jekodama 2008-08-21 ch 1, | abuseWhat's up? The ceiling. Lol! Well, I would have liked it better if they weren't both at the top of the social ladder. I guess I love the old Geek-Idol pair cliché. Anyway, I'd suggest a grammar/spelling check (There's a paragraph that confused me, the way you used verbal tenses was a tad weird: "Maybe he was going to break up with her in the near or far future, or maybe, she was going to be the one who would end the relationship. Maybe she’ll cry, and maybe he’ll be smirking. He’ll probably move on and so will she. She wouldn’t know unless she tried. All she wanted was for him to take her back."). Hope that was helpful! Toodles! |
| HORONIGAI 2008-08-09 ch 1, | abuseAww... I wish this wasn't a one-shot. D= It would have been good as a story too...maybe...who knows. It felt a bit rushed at the end but it probably would feel too long if you add more... Well other than that, I thought that the story was very original and natural. The character were very realistic... (semi-)simple people are good. Some romance stories are just lovey-dovey but this is cute in another level. Good job and excellent work. XDD |
| envirofriendlykrissooo 2008-07-31 ch 1, | abuseWell, I must say I like it. The characters are pretty strong, which makes it easier to form opinions on them. Being able to do that, it was easy (for me) to be drawn into the story. Another plus would be the dialogue. It was just so natural and flowing. Along with that the beats were just right, matching the character's speech perfectly. Finally, I might as well add that the ending was just perfect. Romance isn't usually my genre of choice but this was just so sweet! How could anyone resist? Great job here, I'm officially a fan. |
| Green Eyed Angel 2008-07-20 ch 1, | abuseThat's good. I totally loved the last part :D |
| dOrKy-GuRl03 2008-06-11 ch 1, | abusewow..that is good..i loved it...aw at least she got over her stage fright in a way i guess...that is good one shot.it would be nice if it did turn out into a story...bye...bye... |
| centenarian 2008-06-05 ch 1, | abuseNicely done but there are awkward parts every now and then. But it was good, short and sweet. |
| Pinkamoo 2008-05-30 ch 1, | abusePublic, you call THAT public? No. Never. Ever. :p Cute story! |
| x3life 2008-05-25 ch 1, | abuseaw this was really cute!! =) |
| Lily Llynn 2008-05-25 ch 1, | abuseCute and just a little intense. The writing felt a little bit awkward sometimes, but it was generally pretty good. Awesome oneshot, and awesome addition to our c2 from found.eventually. (: |
| Camelia Sinensis 2008-05-25 ch 1, | abusepretty damn good. I just wanted to know if they'll last. I hope they do. ;] |
| found.eventually 2008-05-10 ch 1, | abuseThey're all so cocky and arrogant, it's unbelievable. Hahahaha. This is a lot different from the other one-shots I've read, because it revolves around two popular people who're well aware of their status and looks, and are not afraid to use it to their advantage. All in all, it was a wonderful, wonderful read, love! :) |
| DolphinLuver585 2008-04-21 ch 1, | abuseWow..Amazing I LOVE IT! |
| a little girl 2008-04-20 ch 1, | abuseaw that was cute :D hehehehhehe nice one dude c: |
| always&forever 2008-04-20 ch 1, anon. | abuseSo I think that this one-shot is the cutest thing of life.. um :) |