good incite

ive seen this before but the meaning is still the same

XD don't be so desperate. it was too long so i didn't read it all. make it shorter. i liked it how it was, the most you should do with this is a short prologue, few quotes, short epilogue. it'd be easier for you and the reader. the quotes alone should capture enough emotion and the prologue should add setting, epilogue - closure. You could do better with this. I must say, Brandy, I was disappointed. =p opened up a can of woopass didn't i?

I am the acquaintance of the authoress who is reviewing, not only because she noticed it had no reviews, but because it looked interesting and takes note of the errors it has with common society and wants to tell Brandy to do more research next time, but is complimenting her on her story, as it is well thought out, just not well-written, and one-day wishes to develop interesting concepts.