FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Ramenluver 2008-07-20 ch 1,  | abuseReally liked this. ^ ^ I think this was my favorite line: "Air hangs still A ruse, until My lungs will heave to silence." I just really liked the imagery. :) This was darker than I expected it to be, but beautiful in a morbid way, I think. Good job. -Ramen |
| Twilight Starr 2008-07-03 ch 1, | abuseGreat job at describing feelings. Nice work. Keep writing! Good luck with poetry and life. Have a lovely day and a wonderful summer. ~Twilight Starr~ |
| Nat Nair 2008-04-19 ch 1, | abuseTwo cents: Good job on the rhythm, but the lack of variation makes it seem perhaps just a little bit monotonous after the first couple of paragraphs - although that could be an intentional effect, as it might serve to reinforce the negative mood... Hm. In any case, keep on writing! |