FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Take the Money and Run 2008-04-20 ch 1,  | abuseI like how you describe fear in so many ways, this is good. I would suggest adding some punctuation, though, a little bit of punctuation just comes in at the end and thats it. And I think the last line should be "Fear is the thing that feels close towards death," otherwise it doesn't make much sense to me. Great job otherwise. I like the flow of this poem, too. SB, courtest of the review marathon. |
| Takhisis 2008-04-19 ch 1, | abuseI really like the first few sentences, but towards the end it doesn't make much sense to me(no offense though). Oh, and the last sentence is pretty good too! |