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| Daiysis 2008-09-08 ch 5,  | abuseThis was quite a violent chapter. The beginning was very interesting though. I liked the personification of the ray of light. As a whole, it was well written though you have a few typos here and there, but good work ^-^ |
| tigerface. 2008-09-07 ch 5, | abusehi, darling :] okay, i'll start off with the things i didn't like, because it's shorter. This sentence: "He cried six years of tears over nightmares that terrified him and cried for six years of having no one to comfort him from the nightmares he dreamt and the nightmares he lived but a girl who appeared at night, holding a knife and dripping blood." It's long and awkward and it doesn't flow correctly, so consider chopping it up a little, alright? What I did like about this chapter was that it was interesting, and the beginning was so horrifying, I found myself shielding my eyes, but all the while urging myself to go on because it was so engrossing. Another thing, is how well you can portray Jamie's feelings, and the details that go along with it. I felt like I was experiencing his pain, and his sorrows, and when he was hit, it was like someone had punched me in the gut. So, amazing job with that! Oh and just for future note: I was all "OMG OMG OMG OMG SHE UPDATED!" when i saw chapter five. update soon :] |
| Faith Adeline 2008-09-06 ch 5, | abuseI liked it, but ya gotta work on your sentence structure. There's a lot of run on sentences and awkward sentences. Other than that, it was good. Just maybe more detail. Keep it up. Faith |
| tigerface. 2008-08-24 ch 4, | abusebloody brilliant :] i thought the words were well chosen, your grammer as top-notch, and i loved the way all your sentences flow. update soon, loves. |
| Souls-and-Turkey-Cafe 2008-08-14 ch 4, | abuseaw, if only it wasn't so short... ^^ |
| phantom66 2008-08-13 ch 4, anon. | abuseo I like the whole news paper clipping thing it kinda reminded of the ring and now I've got the urge to go and watch it. all your fault. lol |
| Faith Adeline 2008-08-12 ch 4, | abuseI liked this chapter :) I'm just not sure how like the bold and all that works. Hmm...I'll have to think about that ha. Keep it up! Faith |
| centuriespast 2008-08-12 ch 1, | abuseI thought it was pretty good But the constant "informed" thing was a lil overused. I would suggest branching out but that's jus my humble opinion I enjoyed it though |
| Daiysis 2008-08-12 ch 4, | abuseYou had a couple of mistakes here and there but they were easy to understand and read over, just to start off with. To be honest, I have never known where this story was going but I like stories like that--I'm even reading a book like that right now. Anyway, you're forgiven for the long wait--life happens. The chapter was good and I'm wondering about the Angoeres... strange name and somehow associated with murder, very interesting. I must know more! I hope the wonderful exam results you get back will sway you to write more because I know your scores will be great ^-^ An early congratulations! |
2008-08-07 ch 3, anon. | abuseThis is a nice story you got here. I can't wait until the next chapter, I want to know a bit more about Jade. Please update soon! |
| Beast King 2008-07-11 ch 3, | abuseSorry for not reviewing for so long! I think this was good chapter. The flashback sequences seem to be giving out more of the mysterious Jade's history. And the flicker effect...great. |
| Faith Adeline 2008-06-24 ch 3, | abuseI really like this story. Keep it up and update soon! Faith |
| Souls-and-Turkey-Cafe 2008-06-24 ch 3, | abusenice...short, but nice, even if it is just filler can't give you an opinion on how good or bad it was based off of whatever you'd originally intended 'cause...i don't know. but for a short chappie showing years passing, not bad. do update soon...or bad things may happen...yees, very bad things...rabbits and monkeys could take over the world...and all shall be forced to bow down to the FLUFF! ... feel free to ignore all that |
| amongthestrange 2008-06-24 ch 3, | abusegreat chapter! I think the way you transitioned the story between years was great! update soon! |
| Daiysis 2008-06-24 ch 3, | abuseYou're right... this chapter is definitely not amongst your forte of chapters, but I think it would have been worse if you just put "three years later" like you said, good choice. I look forward to the next chapter--mysteries are waiting to be solved! Oh, and how have you been lately? How were the exams? Good I hope ^-^ |