 Liam02 2008-04-21 . chapter 1"Though some many say, my future is no longer gay"...
Everything else was what you were going for, I think, (the preppy yet artistic teenage dream, to be free of the laws made by someone else) except these two lines.
They don't match the rest of the poem, and don't seem very... poetic. More of a forced rhyme. Other than that, I thought it was very well written. Muy bien.
I'll read more in a few hours. Maybe a day. I'm not sure. |