| Reviews for and this might not be the first time, either |
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Little Miss Novella 4/20/09 . chapter 1how wonderfully haunting! |
fatbird33 2/2/09 . chapter 1this flowed really well. nicely done:) |
HauntedMisery 2/1/09 . chapter 1simply beautiful . |
not sure yet 10/2/08 . chapter 1this one is very intimate, and quiet and sad |
bahaghari 8/12/08 . chapter 1some people are really hard to forget. i like the sentiment. |
softersin 6/11/08 . chapter 1WOW ! This is simply amazing. I can relate. keep it up :) |
dollface and her cancer 5/29/08 . chapter 1that feeling we all want to capture. lovely. |
thursdays and rain 5/28/08 . chapter 1lovelove the sentiment ;) |
laughter at the funeral 5/18/08 . chapter 1the first line is so whimsical. but i think ive read better ones from you. _ |
four winds 5/2/08 . chapter 1wonderful. I especially like this: "Your hand in my own, helping/Me after the fall—a part of me/Still loves you, a part of me still /Yearns for you". I can definitely relate. I love the feeling this poem paints; longing, slightly, but kind of regretful. I dunno. excellent job, though. |
mmmmmmmm 4/21/08 . chapter 1the title of this is just breathtaking. I don't even know why, but it's so pitch-perfect and draws you in right away. well, being a wistful teenaged kid I guess I relate to this pretty strongly, but I think you absolutely captured the feeling. I like the bittersweet, nostalgic feel to it all. first word of the third line should be 'Your' not 'You're', a little typo I guess. and just two recommendations- the use of 'doll' at the end of the first line just sorta throws me, it seems a little gaudy and vaudeville-ish compared to the conversational tone of the rest of the poem. and also, capitalizing every first line [even when it was still the same sentence] seemed to break the flow. beautiful poem, as usual, you are such an amazing writer :] |
a silenced revolution 4/20/08 . chapter 1The flow is excellent, quite rhythmic. I like the concept of one's smile glowing in the dark. However - 'You're smile' & 'You're hand' - this person is a smile and a hand? I can't tell if this is an error or something more complex that I don't understand. Overall I like it, but seems like it almost needs just a little more, just something more original to finish it and give it more impact. .adrian. |
Aquafied 4/20/08 . chapter 1not quite as haunting as your usual pieces much more simple |