FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| artificial destiny 2008-06-01 ch 1,  | abusesad yet muse-ful (?) at the same time delicate i like it :D the end part reminds me of my story 'in the end' if you want check it out! thanks -artificial destiny |
| Wren Silver 2008-04-24 ch 1, | abuseI like it, especially that one part: "Because who’s to say A broken doll Lies behind a broken mask?" ~Wren Silver |
| Jesse the Storyteller 2008-04-20 ch 1, | abuseThis is a great poem except for one stanza. The rhythm is wonderful and it all flows brilliantly until this: "I understand so perfectly, my dears / but I’m afraid if your words reach me / I’ll break in little tears" It doesn't flow with the rest of the poem hardly at all. Plus the tears seems kind of like a forced rhyme with dears. The rhythm picks back up in the last stanza, though... so it's just that one. :( I really like this - "My heart is smashed / All behind is broken glass" The whole poem has a kind of sing-song quality to it and I like that. I don't understand why you capitalized "Berserk" though. -Jesse Behold the review marathon! (link in profile) |