|Reviews for Park Bench|
| Harmonic Discord 6/15/08 . chapter 1
Loved the idea behind this poem - so clever! Normally I'm not a huge fan of free verse, but I thought it worked really well here, particularly putting "me" on its own in the third stanza - that made it stand out. Excellent job. This poem is cool in that it really makes you think about unusual "relationships" with the world around us.
My only criticism (and I hesitated to call it that) would be that you might want to change the title, because it's not exactly a a surprise at the end. Then again, I'm not sure whether that's what you intended.
Overall, beautifully done!
- Harmonic Discord from the Review Marathon (link in profile)
| Sexy Vampirechick 4/22/08 . chapter 1
I find the poem amusing.I never seen anyone write with an idea like this. *thumbs up*
The orginality wins the points. Umm,one of your lines was "Does it feel(s) like coming (I would use RETURN) home".
That was the only thing I can pinpoint you on, other than that it was cool. :)
| fairytale failure 4/22/08 . chapter 1
Interesting perspective, and you were vague enough about it that I didn't know what you were talking about until the very end. Throughout the poem, I thought it could have been written from the viewpoint of a meek, low-status character - it works as a metaphor for this type of person, as well. I thought your beginning was good and intriguing, but having the words 'lies' and 'lives' so close together made me pause for a minute to figure out what you were saying, and I felt that that interrupted the flow. (But that could just be me.) Overall, an original and intelligent poem.
| Misstress Nicole 4/20/08 . chapter 1
When I read this the first thing that comes to mind is someone being dependent on someone else. I like that because while it seems obvious; you can read into it. "do his business" I took this as someone does their dirt somewhere else and comes home and treats you well.
While the bench is, of course and inanimate object I was able to take it as a weak person who needs the feeling of someone 'living' on them.
I enjoyed it and can't really see where you could improve on this. While the lines don't rhyme,they don't have to as it's freeverse.