Reviews for Park Bench - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Park Bench

Harmonic Discord 2008-06-15 ch 1,	abuseLoved the idea behind this poem - so clever! Normally I'm not a huge fan of free verse, but I thought it worked really well here, particularly putting "me" on its own in the third stanza - that made it stand out. Excellent job. This poem is cool in that it really makes you think about unusual "relationships" with the world around us. My only criticism (and I hesitated to call it that) would be that you might want to change the title, because it's not exactly a a surprise at the end. Then again, I'm not sure whether that's what you intended. Overall, beautifully done! -- Harmonic Discord from the Review Marathon (link in profile)
Sexy vampirechick 2008-04-22 ch 1,	abuseI find the poem amusing.I never seen anyone write with an idea like this. thumbs up The orginality wins the points. Umm,one of your lines was "Does it feel(s) like coming (I would use RETURN) home". That was the only thing I can pinpoint you on, other than that it was cool. :)
fairytale failure 2008-04-22 ch 1,	abuseInteresting perspective, and you were vague enough about it that I didn't know what you were talking about until the very end. Throughout the poem, I thought it could have been written from the viewpoint of a meek, low-status character - it works as a metaphor for this type of person, as well. I thought your beginning was good and intriguing, but having the words 'lies' and 'lives' so close together made me pause for a minute to figure out what you were saying, and I felt that that interrupted the flow. (But that could just be me.) Overall, an original and intelligent poem.
Misstress Nicole 2008-04-20 ch 1,	abuseWhen I read this the first thing that comes to mind is someone being dependent on someone else. I like that because while it seems obvious; you can read into it. "do his business" I took this as someone does their dirt somewhere else and comes home and treats you well. While the bench is, of course and inanimate object I was able to take it as a weak person who needs the feeling of someone 'living' on them. I enjoyed it and can't really see where you could improve on this. While the lines don't rhyme,they don't have to as it's freeverse. Nikki

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