this is great!

Yeah, depression does that to you... and more.

Very powerful... very dark. I like it. :)

The last four lines stand out to me. Especially the last one. I think saying 'all ways' in that lines was the most powerful play on words I've seen in a while.

this is wonderful. very good job on it

It's not bad at all. I like the images esp "Wheezing lungs stick pins through hearts" and "stuggling with every stuttered breath." It's strange how you switch from have little to no stucture at all and then bam you get obvious signs of "traditional" poetry aspects. If that makes any sense at all. For example: it's all free form-ish and then you throw in the repeated s in "struggling" and "stuttered" which brings that line together nicely, then you go back to seeming disorder only to end with a nice coupled line of contrasting images "Maybe will become never/Never will become always" and then you end with a rhyming sequence where the last line doesn't have and ending rhyme.

It's bizarre and slightly hard to read because some of the lines seem to trip over themselves but all in all you have some good images.
One more thing--you repeate the same words over and over again for ex: blood and heart you use a lot. Instead of using heart you can just use a line to describe what the heart is without actually saying "heart" for example (and not to be presumptuous) "The thickened chambers pumping through"--see, that can describe the heart more vividly than just saying heart over and over and it adds more to the poem with its imagery.