FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| destinee's notebook 2008-07-04 ch 1,  | abuseOh, that's sweet... Heh, Jack is one of those...cute, little-kid, hyperactive types. The kind you can't really be angry at for too long. I liked this. - Des |
| Twilight Starr 2008-07-04 ch 1, | abuseCute story. ^^ It's kind of funny her present had to be made with stuff she doesn't like. Nice work. Keep writing! Good luck with writing, this story, and life. Have a lovely day and a wonderful summer. ~Twilight Starr~ |
| Solemn Coyote 2008-04-22 ch 1, | abuseReason I decided to review: tag-line looked pretty interesting. Also, your ficpress handle is Instant Oatmeal. That's pretty rockin'. I usually organize my reviews numerically, just to make things more convenient, and I see no reason not to do that here. 1) Jack and Adelaide have an excellent dynamic. I kinda wish it was explored more. Adelaide seems solid and rational and grounded, whereas Jack's pretty much irrepressible. He has magic, he's well aware of it, and he revels in it. I approve. 2) Even as a short piece, this leaves an impression. That's cool. It usually takes me chapters (or at least plenty of time) to try and build up atmosphere. But this story left me with a kinda warm/fuzzy feeling and it was less than a thousand words long. Snazzy. 3) Yeah. Okay. Glancing back at this again, I really wish you'd give the characters another story in which to develop. Heck, had I fewer ethics, I'd probably try to appropriate them. There's a lot of potential here. I do hope you'll keep writing. -SC |