FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Almsivi 2008-04-22 ch 1,  | abuseI agree with Morgan - great imagery. I especially love the third and fourth stanzas, and I can just see someone wringing a heart out "like a sponge." It seemed like there was a lack of punctuation in places that could have used it, like after "She's converse and classic coke" because it seems like an entire sentence; then again, maybe that's just me. The message is conveyed in a powerful way, and overall, I love it! |
| Morgan Duriya 2008-04-22 ch 1, | abuseI love the metaphor and the imagery it produces, but in better terms, I just love it! keep up the good work. |