FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
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| NeonGolden 2008-07-27 ch 1,  | abuseI think this is a good poem, it flows well and the message you're getting across here is interesting. I like especially the last few lines from "learning the numbers" to the end, I think that's the best part here. The rhythm is very fast which really adds to it, like the spiral of insanity dragging you down. The only thing I can say to critisise this is that it sticks so rigedly to the rhyme scheme, alsmost to the point that it damages the integrity of the poem. Especially the line "I'm stuck in the drone" I don't think that really makes any sense. Ruth from Reviewer's Kingdom x |