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| Almsivi 2008-06-03 ch 1,  | abuseThis was a powerful poem, and I could relate to it - I think almost anyone can. Good job. |
| simpleplan13 2008-05-19 ch 1, | abuseI feel empty; a part of me missing... semi-colons separate two sentences and the second if is not a sentence. It's missing an is It’s now you’re choice to walk the way you want... your She was mines for so long,.. mine I got confused with who the you is in relation to the her. Other than that I liked it. I liked the format especially. Nicely done. |
| a silenced revolution 2008-04-25 ch 1, | abuseThe sorrow and emotion is well conveyed, and I like the directness. However, in another way, this seems too plain and unpoetic. I think more imagery/details/metaphor would improve and give this more impact. 'It's now you're choice to walk the way you want.' --should be 'your choice'. The 'I no longer wish to live' at the end sounds just too cliché to me. Over all, I think this has potential in the idea and the feelings, but needs more to make it great. -Adrian |
| lamia morosa 2008-04-24 ch 1, | abusethis is really good...i liked it because it reminded me of my own writing...you are a really good writer...keep up the good work! Lamia morosa |
| Williamchan87 2008-04-22 ch 1, | abuseMust someone really close to you, I also can relate to this. |
| Princess-anna57 2008-04-22 ch 1, | abuseI totally feel this poem and can relate. Well said. Always be positive and keep writing. ~Anna~ ^_^ |