There are some grammatical errors that slow down reading, however, overall, the pace is really smooth and interesting. I love the voice of the narrative, and the dialogue is not only believable, but entertaining. I enjoy the personalities represented in Ms. White and Mr. Black. The storyline is really brilliant though, and I love the concept for the vampires that you developed. [I've a soft spot for those gorgeous denizens of the dark.]

"seat's are leather" should be "seats are leather".

This continues to be a very interesting story. Nice work. Keep writing!

~Twilight Starr~

Hahah that was sort of hilarious. I really love this story. I don't know where you are going with it, but i am sure it is somewherre goodd

I like how you only update when you get reviews. So here's one for you. /o/

It was nice to get background information. You need to watch for your usage of apostophes and 'your' and 'you're' mix-ups. Otherwise, nice work. Keep writing!

~Twilight Starr~

Love the cast of characters. They are definitely interesting and original. Nice work.

~Twilight Starr~

Very interesting and unique story. I'm interested. Nice work.

Good luck with writing, this story, and life. Have a lovely day and a wonderful summer.

~Twilight Starr~

Wow, this is very interesting. I like your writing style, its simple, humorous and eas to understand.

Try to use a little bit more variation with the cussing tho...:)

I really like your story. Finally, some vampires that are actually kinda scary, original, and don't bug the * outta me. And I love the religious twist on it. Very into the whole fire and brimstone thing.
I suppose I now have two questions that I'm hoping the story will answer at some point.
1) Are Jesus and God like two different gods, the nice one and the angry one? And these guys serve God, right?
2) Colors? Why? I mean, I guess it's easy, but wouldn't you run out eventually, or get really strange names like Tangerine and Beige? It seems like name names would be pretty easy to come up with, so why colors?
Thirdly, you just have a few spelling and grammar issues that I'm not going to bother to point out because it's nitpicky. But I did think the first chapter was sort of weird, just because of the organization of the first sentence(s). It was pretty obvious you wanted a hook, but you didn't follow through with it. It was a great line to start off with, but suddenly Black's talking about elevators? And then when he does get back to the introduction a couple paragraphs later, he skips right over it like it's unimportant. I think Black's voice is unique and interesting enough that you should move those first lines about the introduction to where they'd be in chronological order. It would seem more natural, and less confusing about which point in time Black is actually narrating.
Just a thought.
-- Sekhra

lol, this is really good. I liked your characters, and the idea that Vampires punish evil-doers is awesome!

Hi Modulated,

I'd like to put a link to your story on my blog. Would you allow me to do it? Please let me know.