FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| verb 2008-05-12 ch 1,  | abuseI really liked the first part of the poem. It flowed well, but of the last four lines, I am not sure that they fit really well -especially the part about the candle. However (not being a big poetry person), I really liked the poem although - it had good flow, good imagery, and I liked the way that it brought you to the idea of creating your own stories. I also liked the idea of "hearing" the past through books - making history come alive. Well done, slayerschmo. When's the next one coming out? |
| Abdul Alhazred - John Brewe... 2008-05-02 ch 1, | abuseThe rhyme scheme moves in and out of a pattern and I like that. It creates a sort of discord between the lines. To move forward, I would say that you shouldn't worry about rhyming the last word in the line, don't feel confined to the end, you can end a rhyme with the second to last word and It may increase the effectiveness of your meter. That aside, I liked the way the word define curles up at the end based on the sylables you are emphasizing in the line before it... And I really liked from, "So that we might read," to, "so these won't be alone" Those lines are sweet...Enough of a review for ya Schmoe? Seriously though, it was a great poem Abdul Alhazred |