Reviews for The Suicidee and the Satirist

Reviews For: The Suicidee and the Satirist

tibetan-knight 2008-05-03 ch 2,	abuseAnother Review Marathon review for you "his face that of a thousand emasculated males" Ooh. Awesome line. In eight words you've explained the "why" of the situation even though it's not explicit, and this poem doesn't actually beg the question, "Why?". But, it's there none-the-less. Also, I like how chapter one deals with the woman, and chapter two is the man. This is an interesting ride you're taking us on here. Again, lovely work. --Rachel
tibetan-knight 2008-05-03 ch 1,	abuseHey, review marathon! My goodness, you get style points for poignancy in brevity. I love the internal rhyme of the first line "Little girls, they swirl". I love the contrast between the Gorgons and God. And lastly, (small thing) I love that you used the word "respire" instead of "breathe in". Good job! --Rachel
Zonne 2008-04-25 ch 4,	abuseyes... STill part of your Prize for your astounding accomplishment in Review Marathon Marvels... Again, You nailed the title "Pandemonic" is the Like!! I also like the whole sense of chaos and frenzy you portrayed. I especially like the line "Nazi-Breath" because you totally captured the evil of the place she is. And finally, I like the way that being muted is followed by an exclamation point. Even that portrays the chaos and incongruity in the place. Good job and congrats again on your RM'ing
Zonne 2008-04-25 ch 3,	abuseAgain, very powerful statements portraying her pain and how "un-fixable" this is. To be abused is not easily repaired, and never un-done. I liked the name again, and the last line. That's so perfect. The way everyone brushes over the pain with talcum powder, never really fixing it. I liked her 'quiet reassurance of pain.' That sense of being alive and validating her situation, her feelings about her situation. I don't like the one line "She's so bruised" and I can only say that somehow the "She's" doesn't belong. It's so soft and gentle in the overwhelming harshness. The word breaks the mood. I can't offer a suggestion, however, I have no doubt that you can find a way to change it, if you want to. I also think the She's and the She so close together is part of why I felt like it didn't work. ... Still admiring your RM Prowess... Congrats and this is your prize
Zonne 2008-04-25 ch 2,	abuseI liked how well you portrayed this very sad, harsh event with so few words and how it shows the weakness of the man. I don't like the subject, but I suppose that's to be expected. I think the "!" after the "oh how he tries..." is over-doing it. It changes the tone from the weakness of him (as proof by his act) to giving him strength. (continuation of Prize for RM Greatness)
Zonne 2008-04-25 ch 1,	abuseFirst, congrats on be the ultimate grand winner of the Review Marathon... This is your prize. Second, I suck at reviewing poetry, so I'm going to be obnoxious and review each part as best as I can. What I like is the title of this chapter "Tutu" because that is the ultimate 'cute little girl' image. Truly. And the line Little girls, they swirl just completes that perfect thought of sweetness and innocence. The Gorgons seems odd in here, it breaks that sweetness that I think would have been nice to carry-on (as I'm guessing this doesn't end sweetly) Perhaps to have remained all sweetness and sugarplums for the whole intro would have worked better (from my perspective)

Return to Top