I love the way you say "We'll look at this very clinically." and then echo it, in that simple unflowery language and lots of punctuation. I also like the way it feels so tied to reality. it's totally the opposite of abstract, lofty poetry, and I'm pretty sure I like this kind a lot better. haha.

great job. I recommend, though, to take out the "..." after "canyons close", it just looks sort of sloppy compared to the rest. otherwise, I like it :]