FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| My Atomic Garden 2008-07-19 ch 9,  | abuseI like how each line is a separate statement, it shows a desparation to deny. However, I feel this was a little bumpy. Shameless plug: Check out the review marathon (link in profile)! |
| My Atomic Garden 2008-07-19 ch 8, | abuseI like the flow of this piece, it is simplistic in a way that allows the words to speak for themselves. I also like the title, it made me laugh. |
| My Atomic Garden 2008-07-19 ch 7, | abuseNice poem, short, sweet(maybe not), and to the point. I like the way you leave it a bit open to interperetation, like it could mean that we keep secrets or that the best things are communicated wordlessly. |
| My Atomic Garden 2008-07-19 ch 6, | abuseNice job with the metaphor of an iron heart, I like it. I think maybe you could improve it with just a little punctuation, though. |
| My Atomic Garden 2008-07-19 ch 5, | abuseGreat what if poem, I like the concept. I think I was looking for a little elaboration, though. |
| My Atomic Garden 2008-07-19 ch 4, | abuseNice onomatopoeia, it builds suspense before immense dissappiontment. I like how you make everything seem so amazing in the beginning and hoe at the end you have class. |
| My Atomic Garden 2008-07-19 ch 3, | abuseI like this, you showed an entire messege in just fifteen words. I like the last line, showing some sort of benefit of not gossiping. |
| My Atomic Garden 2008-07-19 ch 2, | abuseI like that you showed truth and reality here, greatly amusing. However, some punctuation would be really cool. |
| My Atomic Garden 2008-07-19 ch 1, | abuseI like it, can almoct the anger here. I like the way you used language to say that they are dirty liars without just saying that. It is very...poetic. Shameless plug: Check out the review marathon (link in profile)! |
| Fresa 2008-05-14 ch 18, | abuseI really like yours haikus ^^ they were fun but serious so I hope that you go on with this ^^ I realize that is easier write haikus in english in spanish you have more syllables per word.. PS: i don' know if i write this ok, so exuse me for the mistakes ^^' |
| painted eyes 2008-05-14 ch 1, | abuseThis made me laugh! Keep up the good work! =] |
| Lucia Darling 2008-05-07 ch 9, anon. | abuseOnce again, luv, you have rendered me helpless with laughter. Congratulations! Eternally Yours, Lucia |
| PocoSnow15 2008-04-27 ch 4, | abuseThis is what I do during school too! =) I really liked this, it told a story even though it was only three lines long. Great job! |