FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Maralie 2008-06-01 ch 1,  | abuseA well written poem, everything in there was so clear, I could practically see it. Great work! |
| simpleplan13 2008-05-20 ch 1, | abuseMasked behind a sick skin of guilty pleasure,/One-sided love… and guilty pleasure... not sure why you repeated that phrase... I'm not sure if this was on purpose, but after semi-colons the next word is not capitalized. I like this. You have some really great word choices and I like the repetition of I'm empty and I really like your descriptions. The only thing that confused me was all of the sudden going to she. Was it the same as the you or is it a different person? |
| Billie.Joelle 2008-04-28 ch 1, | abuseLurid Black, good to hear from you again. I was beginning to think you'd left the site! I would have cried. But, you are back and with a bang, no less. Amazing, again. Flows well, ends well, is, well, amazing! Good job. Can't wait for more! ~BJ |
| lookin4nemo 2008-04-28 ch 1, | abuseYAY! Mr. Black is back! wonderful piece many can relate! "Void of any feelings, with a dismal jealousy..." wonderful. Ur words always seem to fit one another. I tell ya when i checked my e-mail five minutes ago and scroll down for any fictionpress stories.. and i see ur name I jump outta my chair and quickly grab the mouse to click on it. and yet again my thirst for ur perfect words is satisfied. ~Nemo~ |
| Katrina Zeffirelli 2008-04-28 ch 1, | abuseYay! You're back! lol. Wow- this is awesomazimg! ;D If this is true, (I hope it isn't!) I know exactly how you feel... Great description and word choice- excellent rhythm. I love the lines, "Life isn't written up in concrete, it's engraved as life remains./She's go the world under strings, manipulated by her fingertips." Great job, as always! Keep it up- can't wait for the next one! --KZ ;) |
| My World Of Fragile Things 2008-04-28 ch 1, | abuse~She’s got the world under strings, manipulated by her fingertips.~ Beautiful. everything was so right about this poem, great job. |
| Princess-anna57 2008-04-28 ch 1, | abuseWell written. Keep it up. ~Anna~ |