Really powerful. I don't know what to say, because it talks for itself. I think you're talented. You're one of those writers we read to actually entertain ourselves, not to help you improve, because you've already found your style.

Amazing job, essentially. It was really beautiful in a sad and angsty way.

really captures the scene and all the angst and misery. a few typos, but nothing major. nice, er well, not *nice*, but good. i like 'the grass crumbling under her feet'.

-adrian