Share/Save/Bookmark
Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search Login Register Extras
Reviews For: The World is Falling

End-of-forever
2008-05-28
ch 1,
abuse'too busy drowning in details'...so true. I really really liked this!
Esther Jade
2008-04-29
ch 1,
abuseI can really relate to some of this particularly the "stumble on the stairs" and "the slip of the tongue in the classroom". It's funny how the little things get to you some times. You can hold it altogether and one small thing goes wrong and then you're crying.

I like the run-on line from the first to second line and the colon in the second-last line.

One thing I would change is to put stanzas in. The last three lines and possibly the first two feel like the could stand alone. There could also be a stanza break between "the tired scribbles on daunting page" and "Only the little things, so small".
ode to melancholy
2008-04-29
ch 1,
abuseWow. This is so... true. Then again, what else could I expect from you, m'dear? :P
Return to Top