FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| fatbird33 2008-05-15 ch 1,  | abusevery interesting topic makes for a very interesting poem. |
| Lauren Wolfe 2008-05-13 ch 1, | abuseAhuhuhu. Too sad, too true D: |
| XsilentXescapeX 2008-05-11 ch 1, | abuseTrapped in a mindless cycle: Gorging myself on self-insanity. i love that line and think it was a perfect ending. ~silent |
| Esther Jade 2008-04-29 ch 1, | abuseThis reminds me of a friend of mine who had a problem with over-eating. I think the lines "I want to tear...lighten//my body" are particularly effective. I also think the cycle image works - bit cliched but the way you express it in the third to last line works well. One suggestion I would make is maybe changing the full stop at the end of the second-line to a semi-colon to create more of an antithesis and then the comma in the third line could be a full stop. But it's just a suggestion. |
| fleur de l'est 2008-04-29 ch 1, | abuseKnow how that feels.. |
| ode to melancholy 2008-04-29 ch 1, | abuseThis is kinda... I don't know. Amusing? I would be if I hadn't experienced it myself. I like that, "gorgin myself on self-insanity"... Very nice. |