i really like this. it's like pseudo-hilarious, but then something like chapter 4 comes up and you can't help but feel the pain, frustration. i love it. and the pure love between Bristol and Nathaniel emanating from it, argh. i don't care if one pushed the other out a window, it's a beautiful relationship :'). ahahahahahaha kisses till the next chapter!

this is awesome.

i luved every word of it.

please write more of this amazing story.

that is all.

This story is just so good. One moment I'm giggling over Bristol's jealousy issues and Nathaniel's oddness. Then in the next I'm shocked over how brutal both of them are. Pushing the guy out of a four story window? Yeah, real sane there.

But nonetheless, I really like the story in general. I can't wait for the next update.

Okay. That's it. FAVORITE! :B

Oh, gosh, thanks so much for your review on Dirty South! I love returning reviews and you seem like such a fun person, why not?! Geez, I wish I had more time to finish all this at once, but I promise now I'm going to finish this when I'm not so busy. :P

"Did he leave, like a normal boyfriend? Neglect to call? Slam the door? No, oh no, Nathaniel threw him off a FUCKING BALCONY." Haha. That had me laughing //so// hard my mom thought I was laughing at Law and Order and I had to pretend it was funny. XD

I vow to finish this.

Aww, poor Nathaniel and Bristol!! They are really really really fucked up aren't they? But now I know why they didn't work out!! Bristol is a dancer?! Oh man...that could hurt their relationship.

I really liked this chapter, because it seemed like all the action happened in it and it was a faster paced chapter as well. I hope you write more about their conflicts. At the end of the chapter when Nathaniel said he couldn't do this anymore, I immediately thought, "no Nathaniel! Don't kill yourself!" but he probably isn't going to, or else there'd be no more Nathaniel.
:( and then everyone would be very sad. Alright, I'm really looking forward to your next chapter!! Please don't leave us in suspense for too long!

Yay! Bristol's back in the picture. I wondered how long you were going to keep him away from us. When he's drinking his beer at the Cove, I can't decide who I like more, him or Nathaniel. I think Nathaniel because he just seems nicer but if he tried to kill Bristol...that could be a point against him.

That jump in the middle of the chapter, when it goes to how Bristol got out the house and everything seemed kind of sudden. I had to re-read the first sentence or two to see I was reading it correctly but I guess it works out in the end.

Bristol is such a bitch! Haha. but i guess he has a right to be mad at Nathaniel? Now i really want to know what happened with Bristol and Nathaniel!! Will you ever tell? :( sad face included. Puppy eyes? Come on, I want to know!!

vampgurl99

Wow, I was really confused when you switched the POVs. I was like, what?! He's not hurt anymore?! But then I checked chapter 1 again and realized the person hurt was Bristol and Nathaniel did the hurting. Hm, your story get even more interesting. Is this chapter taking place at about the same time Bristol is getting out of the hospital?

The crying part is also a little odd. Is he crying because Ciaran is touching him? Or is it because he's frustrated and remembering past events? I can't wait to get to the nitty gritty of what went down between Bristol and Nathaniel!! Such a short chapter to keep us waiting...meanie!

vampgurl99

geez, go completely MIA for like 6 months! :D
i'd be really mad right now if riches to rage
weren't so great. :] so i guess i can forgive you. :)
but! i have a story to tell you!
are you ready for this micah? it's insane. :]
...
so it's about 8:45 a.m.
me and evelyn (random-nerd15) are sitting in 2nd period,
both of us probably half asleep since god knows why school has to begin so early, then all of a sudden! ...i hear a cry of "OMG!" i'm sitting there having a heart attack thinking 'dude... my friends are freaking physcotic!' then comes the rest of the sentence... "MICAH'S BACK!" i'm so shocked all i can say is "NO WAY?!?!?!?!" now thinking 'she's so lying!
6 months ago the drug lords from cuba sent chuck norris to break into micah's house, kidnap him and then smuggle him into cuba where he joined them in their evilness. micah's totally been living in cuba getting high and flithy rich for the half past year! what does she mean he's back?!' afterwards, we spent the next 15 minutes talking about how evelyn needed her theo in her life, how micah is an evil genious, who leaves evil cliffhangers, then totally dissapears for forever, and how we've got to get our friend janet into kegs and black cherries cos she'd love it. :] for the past few days you've pretty much been the topic of our conversations. :D haha, and we're glad you're back. XD riches to rage is fantastic and i hope you update soon. :D
...
i'm honestly really lame, so it took me 5 hours to write that. :D haha and evelyn pretty much wrote half. :D

lol
wow
i knew Bristol was a little Skank!
oh sorry...entertainer...
XD

i still want in his pants though.

so i've been looking forward to this little flash back, and i'm not dissappointed.
good job
kudos!

i find their relationship...interesting
i'm lacking any kind of creativity today
i'm sorry.
words escape me this afternoon...

seeing as how i suck at life and can't even think of anything to say in this review...i'll just end it before i start ranting about nothingness.

lol

-Evelyn

Yes
you missed me?
really!? O.O
*tear*
i feel so loved...will you be my best friend?
lol
I've been lovely thank you for asking.
although school is being a female dog at the moment
damn state testing and Ap Exams
i've been stressing like crazy!
well anyways...
yeah
:D

to the chapter!


Holy jesus!
oh yeah, Bristol rocks my socks
at the beginning i thought i would hate him with the burning passion of a thousand suns...but now i just want in his pants.
And nathanial too.
he's so sweet.

quote!
"They're not a couple, I'm sure of it. Pretty sure. Maybe.

Yes, alright, yes, I'm stalking him. Fuck you.

You think I give a shit what you think?

Why don't you go jump out of a four story building? Then give me a call and tell me how you're doin'."

ha! hilarious.
i love how he's just so stuck on 'I was pushed out of a 4 story bulding'.
i mean sure...i'd be scared for life...but i still find it funny.
i'm not sure if that makes me a bad person...but yeah.

i'm surprissed at how little i have to say about this chapter...wow.

well alright...

-Evelyn :]

I really like this story so far. It's really angsty and dramatic...and I like the characters! I'm looking forward to seeing what happens next...

HAH, I knew it! Well, I knew two things: 1) I knew that a flashback was coming, as soon as I started talking about flashbacks in my previous review. I just had a feeling that, as I typed, that the next chapter would be a flashback-y thing and I almost even went and looked, but hey. And, as I said in my review, you handled it all wonderfully. You're very good with these flashbacks; you know just when and where to put them, how much to reveal. Or at least, it seems like you do. Maybe it happens unintentionally (as is often the case with myself), but it works very well. :D

2) I knew that Bri was a whore!! Or "entertainer," stripper, whatever. I shouldn't feel that excited, especially since the hint in the last chapter wasn't entirely subtle, but for some reason it just makes me giddy.

This chapter was... gah!(I feel a relatively short review coming on): it was so good. Lines that might normally seem cliche ("I can’t /do/ this right now," "I’m never gonna be enough for you," "It’s not about /you!/") just made my heart both rejoice and break, because the scene was so beautifully executed. Those lines and every other line of dialogue seemed very real, very *un*cliche. T_T Poor Bri and Nat... gah, I love drama. And angst. And drama and angst and angst and drama and fluff (I saw it there, in the middle!)... especially well-written drama and angst and fluff and you are one of my topmost idols of well-writtenness and therefore I loved it all.

I thought this line here was very key: "/I'm sorry/. Nat's lips formed the words, but he couldn't say them." Haha, could be why you set it apart from the paragraph. But I wondered right there that if Nat /had/ said sorry, would the whole thing have ever happened? Probably, or something like it. But it's one of those 'What if...?' things that I love so much. x33 Maybe he tried to apologize later... but given the turnout, plus that aforesaid line, I really don't think he did.

But, butbutbut *implodes* This chapter was beautiful. I love the depth of their relationship that you showed, especially during the somewhat fluffy moment in between bouts of anger, and even in the angry moments their connection/intimacy shone through. And this chapter just casts such a tragic shadow on the rest of the story thus far. Again: very well-placed flashback. :)

Oh, and this here?

"'You /said/ you were going back to school!'

'I’m /trying/, goddamnit! Not all of us have our mommies and daddies to pay our way!'"

HAY more backstory goodness. Echoes of Bri's 'white trash' upbringing, methinks? x33 Another thing I wanted to mention was the POV changing, from Nat-first-person to Bri-first-person to third-person: I really like the effect. :D Getting inside each character's head in turn, and then watching from outside their heads; it adds to the drama.

And then, and then... the end! That was perfect. Short, succinct, heartbreaking. Frosting on the cake? (M...) I'm still going to bake a cake out of your writing, by the way. And we can serve it at our wedding instead of my next birthday party :)

And the whole "You're blowing this out of proportion, Nathaniel!" thing- could Nat's thoughts in the first chapter be a reflection of that? ("He'd just ripped out my heart. I was reacting. Overreacting, maybe. I tend to do that.") I think so. Very good. :)

But you can, Nat! You can do it! Stick in there! *hugs him*

*nosebleeds all over her keyboard**grabs napkin*

WELL this chapter was...was... why is 'sex' the only thing that comes to mind?? Hahah, there wasn't even any sex in it! No my friend, what -was- in it was so much more... *dances* This song that I'm listening to, which I just stumbled upon as I perused youtube between scene changes, is actually very apropos. It's called "Possession," and it's mostly in Japanese but the chorus keeps repeating, in English, "You are my possession." I didn't realize this until I had read a few paragraphs into Bristol's scene, where he's obsessing over Nat- so it's like:

"...and I /know/ I'm not imagining the gleaming slate shirt, sleeves rolled up to bear his forearms, the buttons trailing down the middle of the shirt, pausing at his waistline and disappearing teasingly into /tight/ black denim jeans. I'm not imagining those slim hips, those legs, that-who the /*FUCK*/ is that?!" (in the background: "You are my possession, hanasa nai...")

*reading the rest of the lyrics* Hahaha, this is actually really apropos. Well, the English is, but I'm sure the Japanese follows in the same vein... Oh look, Google has the English translation. *reads* Hahahah, that's pretty good. They do reference night and day a lot. And lust, and possession and making love. It's addicting too! One of those poppy-dance-y songs, in a kind of minor-ish key, with violins! Or synths that sound like violins. Coolio.

AHEM. Okay, sorry about that. BUT THIS CHAPTER- *runs around in circles* It was so, so, so great, from beginning to end. My inner fangirl is especially happy. Ciaran! I love him! The opening scene was absolutely lov-e-ly; I always did love your make-out-y, yaoi-ful scenes. :D Because they're still -full- of emotion and -delicious- details and... yum. And! however delicious, it continued with a strain of Nathaniel's guilt and unease, which was great. Example: "Can’t I just enjoy…one kiss…one time…? I can go back to self-loathing and brooding in a corner later. " And then at the end, "Somewhere, something in me whispers that this is a mistake - but I just can't bring myself to /care/. I like him. He likes me. End. Of. Story."

(ahHAH I found the English version of that song... not just the lyrics! how divine.. *listens*)

And then Bristol...ohh~h boy, Mr. Bristol has some SERIOUS issues, but we knew that from the prologue, and frankly, I think it's amazing. His anger is so tangible... like, ouch! All of those swears and expletives definitely bolstered the effect. And, that's another thing I like about first-person: you can pull it off tastefully because it's all told from a person's head, and the average person in Bristol's situation would definitely be swearing up and down, especially in his thoughts. I love his biting sarcasm too; it's like Kisten's voice tenfold- his voice with twice the bitterness and three times the ire. And I do hold Kisten's voice so dear to my heart, so of course I love Bristol's too. The remark about the college pamphlet rounding up the minorities for a photoshoot was hilarious, and about the heterosexual grinding- "Gross." xD

And here you dropped more little details about their history! *showers you in hearts* About Nat switching schools, and then- ohh man, the part about night and day? THAT was brilliant. But I'll get back to it in a minute; trying to move in sequential order here. Makes it easier to organize my thoughts. :)

I was so so so excited to see Bristol in The Cove, hunting for Nat. From the moment Nat and Ciaran came in, I was on the edge of my seat and on the verge of a serious fangirl squeal-fest. It was so great, the tension, the suspense. I at once wanted and didn't want Nat to see Bristol... I wanted him to because I knew the scene would be epic, but I didn't want him to because I didn't want that epic scene to come so quickly. And I think this latter desire won out over the former, and you didn't disappoint! I was a little relieved when Bri ducked under the table (though he hurt his elbow- poor baby! *hands ice pack*). Like with Kegs and Black Cherries, you are wonderful when it comes to keeping readers hooked, because you are wonderful with dragging out the tension and the rising action. Such a tease!

Hahaha, and I love Bri's hate of Ciaran. The way he describes him, "clown," "whore," "cumslut," "jackass"- "some blond fucker"- "Skanky Manslut"! xD That's amazing. Poor Ciaran.

Oh! OH! And this part: "The blond jackass takes one, and I start to smirk even before he turns back to Nat.

'He doesn't drink beer, dumbshit,' I murmur, fingertips toying with the rim of my mug. Sure enough, Nathaniel shakes his head with an apologetic smile, and instead returns to the bar himself to order. 'He only drinks rum and Coke.' My voice is soft, inaudible to anyone but myself, a bedroom whisper for one, 'With an orange slice.'"

First of all, the "bedroom whisper for one" was beautiful, and second of all, the way in which it reveals the connection and closeness that Nat and Bri used to have- and might still have, however corrupted it's become was so...sad and squeal-worthy. :D It made me smile REAL big. :D And then you showed more of their history in the paragraph after when Bri starts talking about his leaving and coming to find Nat- how he didn't turn Nat in and all. And it's not like you have to stop the story for a big flashback or a contrived explanation of the history; you drop little lines here and there and slowly piece it together and that makes it all so much more poignant. So, kudos! (Not that I have anything against flashbacks, of course- as I'm well aware that KaBC has a few, and they were marvelously done; you have to know when and where to implement them, and you definitely have that down pat.)

But Bri's obsession over Nat is- is it wrong to call it adorable? Because I think it's adorable, but I have a twisted sense of attraction. Despite how bent on revenge Bri is, he still thinks Nat "looks /good/," and "cute and /awkward/" and I think that's adorable. I think I told you before: I love the psychotic characters, and while Bri might not be clinically psychotic, he's still up there, with his lust for revenge and lingering lust for Nat. xDD;;

"Yes, alright, /yes/, I'm stalking him. Fuck you.

You think I give a shit what you think?

Why don't you go jump out of a four story building? Then give me a call and tell me how you're doin'."

Case in point. And, btw, LOL.

Hahaha, okay, and then when Bri goes up to Ciaran: *jawdrop* Now I can talk about the night and day thing.

"I've got night in my blood. Nathaniel does too, but this boy...this boy reeks of light. Day in his blood. . . . People with dayblood and people with nightblood, they don't /mix/. They eclipse, they make a sultry twilight, and then they split. You can never trust a man with day in his blood...of course, that's what they say about us, too."

That right there was absolute brilliance. I love the way it's written, I love the concept, I love the dimension it adds to Bri's- and to Nat's- character, and it's just... *bows down* Very masterful. And the part right before that: "I move like a professional - I /should/, it's my fucking job...or it used to be. In the dark, nobody can see my scars..." Wait, -what-? Excuse me? There you go, being a tease again!! Now I'm absolutely -dying- to know more about their history, about Bri's especially. So what was he, a whore? I'm guessing. Probably, maybe. And, oh dear. Ohdearohdear-ohdear-. The scene where he was trying to seduce Ciaran? *nosebleeds all over again* I don't know what else to say about that whole part, because it was just freaking -hot- and I love Ciaran all the more for standing up to Bri- though at the same time I wish he would've given in. xDD *shoves inner fangirl back into her box* But will he?! Will he turn from Nat and go to Bri?!! AHH~H I MUST KNOW.

Wow, I think I rambled more than usual. But hey, I have a little bit of time since I stayed home sick today, and I don't feel so guilty about doing this since I practiced my violin and did my SAT stuff already- gotta balance work and play! :D I LOVE THIS STORY.

OH, and hahahahah, about the other s/n?? Sorry! I completely forgot to log out of that account before reviewing.. I forgot I was even logged into it. xDD It's the joint account my friend and I have where we post our crazy little role-plays of ultimate gayness. *shotded* But I'm glad you like the name; I came up with it. :)

Eek, I'm sure nobody likes to find out that by their lover.