Reviews for Fireflies and Hamburgers

centuriespast 2008-06-16 ch 1,	abuseIt was OK Didn't really stike me as something Id want to read again But it was alright All in all 2 kudos -?-
correlation 2008-04-30 ch 1,	abuseI really enjoy this style of imagery, of the ties between July and the other events that are happening in this poem. Awesome!
miscellanea 2008-04-30 ch 1,	abuseYou're on a roll, my dear.
D351 2008-04-30 ch 1,	abuseIf only people made changes as quickly as this poem does... I'm not a vegan, but there are many fields in which the human conscience needs to play a bigger role. Either way, this is quite well written, though I think taking such a sudden turn in to the "not-anymore" sentiment leaves a bad taste in the readers mouth. I'd have recommended spending at least another eight lines leading in before the "But you can't stomach it anymore", to prepare the reader for the shift from passive to active. Another thing you could've done to make that shift seem less abrupt would have been to change from "you" to "I", giving a more personal feel to it and making it seem less preachy... Too many "you"s can easily put a reader on the defensive, as it gives them the feeling of "they're-putting-words-in-my-mouth" Either way, it's well written, and it's nice to see more people addressing specific social issues so concisely.