AK the Twilight
2008-05-02
ch 1,  | abuseAlthough there's a ton of emotion behind this, I'm sure, in all honesty, this poem feels a bit too stream-of-consciousness if you get my drift. There's a degree of emptiness and void when discussing this concept of ensnaring darkness, but the question remains: what else? The poem seems to drop off right there. There must be something else. This was a good read; it just feel a bit too short and too simple. Try including more of the fierce emptiness in the emotion and make this poem a bit more concise and complex. Good job, and good luck with future works. |
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