Reviews for An Aquired Aftertaste

Reviews For: An Aquired Aftertaste

Original Screen Name 2008-08-01 ch 2,	abusenice story. i see the humor.
Random Fits of Laughter 2008-07-26 ch 2,	abuseOmg! I love this! It's so addictive...like coffee! :D
Syl Gordon 2008-07-25 ch 2,	abuseI just decided to read this today, but I'm liking Hayden. ^_^ Of course, I love nerds... But Ryan seems cool too... I may just be a little off put by him because I have an older half brother I've never met named Ryan... >_< And I used to have an imaginary perfect guy named Hayden. But I like how this is going. ^_^
Agent Firefly 2008-06-02 ch 2,	abuseAha! So we hear from the elusive Ryan in this chapter... Wait, did he introduce himself as Matt in the first chapter or was that a different guy? I'm not sure if I trust him much or not. I like Hayden better. Hehe ;)
Agent Firefly 2008-06-02 ch 1,	abuseThis is a really interesting beginning, you get a good idea of who the characters are and their personalities just from these two segments. It was a surprising switch from Amber's "oh my gosh" nervousness to Hayden's smug yet geeky arrogance. I was half expecting the other viewpoint to be from the cute guitarist, but instead it introduces Hayden. There are a couple of weird grammatical things with the use of tenses that stand out to me just a little, such as when the characters' thoughts are written out. Don't get me wrong, I have no problems with seeing into the characters' heads (that just makes it more interesting in fact), but especially in Amber's case there are so many thoughts in the text that it almost reads like a story in present tense. There are a couple ways to remedy this (if you choose to, that is--it's not an outstanding problem), for instance you could change the entire story to present tense to make it an easier read, or a much simpler solution might be to actually change some of the thoughts to past tense. For example "I'm pretty sure I just threw up a little in my mouth" would become something like "I was pretty sure I had just thrown up a little in my mouth." The narrative nature of the sentence is still there, so it reads like a thought process, but the reader gets the idea that this is all something that has happened in the past, rather than switching back and forth from past to present. Whew! I hope that made at least a little sense...haha. And again these aren't terribly noticeable things that you have to change or anything, they just stood out a little when I read it. :)
ChemicalxDisturbance 2008-05-06 ch 1,	abusewait a ticker... i thought the guitarists name was ryan... now it's matt. what are you smoking and why aren't you sharing?!?! lol great great great story! YOU'LL SO WIN! =D
misery sister 2008-05-05 ch 1,	abuseGood story so far. But I will say that all the POV switching is abit annoying. I hope you don't do too much of it in later chapters.
Smileymiley248 XD 2008-05-04 ch 2,	abuseHI! this is a kool story good luck on ur next chap!XD
Pione 2008-05-04 ch 1,	abuseInteresting!
Mary's.Song 2008-05-03 ch 1,	abusei like it. update soon!
AK the Twilight 2008-05-03 ch 1,	abuseCompetition, huh? Well, this was an odd choice. Really, really entertaining, but odd. The switching between tenses in Amber's part made it a bit difficult to keep up. Is she thinking it right now, or is she remembering it? Just try to keep the tense together in her part. Hayden's part of the story was easier to follow, and combined, the two storylines made the entire scenario entertaining. Apparently there's a love triangle in the works. Keep up this story's odd and quirky momentum and you'll have a great tale to tell. I'm pretty interested as to who's going to get Amber. For a simple competition piece, this was really a serious bit. Thumbs-up.

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