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| Genevieve Straessley 2008-05-05 ch 1,  | abusehey, glad to read some of your work again. i really enjoyed this, though i'm not sure i quite understood all the symbolism...maybe that's the point... i loved the splitting of the family as a theme because so often, we see in pop cult work the idea that the family is unbreakable which is way far too generalized and overused. also, the introduction of individuals into the lives of the family offered a unique dynamic towards the splitting of the family. each individual was given a very descriptive introduction - nice touch. however, i have to agree with kenny's friend...the attention to the red general as british and also the green salesman as irish threw me off. perhaps you could give description that might lend itself to that in the readers' heads without actually saying it forthright as it limits the universality of your message. love your depth though ;) |
| Kenny's Friend 2008-05-04 ch 1, | abuseHey, nice writing as always. I like the tone of the story, especially the colorful yet simple characters. So would you consider this more of a fable or an allegory, because there's elements of each here. The pictures you created were beautiful - especially the tree itself. My only complaint is with the Red General: the description of his accent being "British" seems out of place in this universe, even though it technically is our universe... At any rate, the dialogue in which he takes part makes it clear what type of accent he has anyway. Just a thought. Nice work as always, bro. |