FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
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| Butterfly Masquerade 2008-05-08 ch 1,  | abuseThis is a little more vague than your other things that I've read. I think I see the point, but it takes a few mental gymnastics to get there. I realize that it's meant to be short, but maybe with a little more flow (think commas rather than periods, tie the sentences together) and a few more well placed words, it could be a lot clearer. I did like it, but I know you're capable of more. |