FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| WisdomReader 2008-07-07 ch 1,  | abuseYay one point for love! |
| xGekkeiju 2008-07-02 ch 3, | abuseHello Miss! You've got a lovely set of poems here! Your simple style is very refreshing in an age where pretty words are valued above emotion. I especially liked the first poem, particularly the phrase "And then I know: We share this woe!". You juxtapose unrequited love with love itself, and it's very subtly done. Very nice! Keep writing, keep working at it, keep improving. ~Wren |
| Chip Douglas 2008-05-04 ch 3, | abuseThis isn't dumb at all; it just isn't finished. It is a situation that we can relate, and the simple form makes it familiar. The note at the end describing the situation is necessary in this case, but maybe you can work it to be a little more clearer in the poem itself. The first line '"I love you" I say' is misleading if the speaker's mouth stays shut. I also think you should take out the word "only" in line five - it messes up the meter, which refreshingly is consistent throughout the rest of the poem. |
| AK the Twilight 2008-05-04 ch 1, | abuseThis is just plain cute. Love is so essential in modern poetry on FictionPress. It's great to see that there's still life in love these days. Good job with the rhyming too, as it takes skill to rhyme while still having meaning. Very cute, very sweet. Great job on this lil' peace of prose. |