Reviews for Two Islands - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Two Islands

Equilibrium 2008-06-15 ch 3,	abuseThis story has a distinctly Redwall-esque flavour, and that's meant to be a compliment. (Speaking of Redwall, have you read any of Brian Jaques books? If you haven't, I'd recommend them.) I like where the plot is headed, and I think your characters have potential to be very loveable. The description is a bit lacking in the first chapter, but picks up nicely afterwards. One thing I must comment on, though, is your summary. You start off with "I'm bad at summaries, so here goes". Don't ever sell yourself short like that. We readers can certainly judge for ourselves if your summary is crappy or not (and in this case it isn't)! Also, try correcting the punctuation mistake ("set in the 18th century" should start with a capital 'S'), and finish the sentence ("R&R pleas" should have an 'e' and a full-stop attached). Remember, a summary is very important since it's the first impression a potential reader gets when he/she sees your story. I hope I don't sound nitpicky (I don't mean to be). You've got something good going here and you should keep it up. Keep in touch.
Ra'akone 2008-06-05 ch 3,	abuseThis is cool. So...Cloverbud didn't leave the medallion at home like before? just curious Anyways, nice story. Also...I noticed at one time you mention "What on Earth"...that is, I think Cloverbud said it. You may want to replace "Earth" with...the name of the land she's on. Just a suggestion. Anyways, cool story. ~Ra'akone
Ra'akone 2008-05-13 ch 2,	abuseI love this. It's cool you have an account here, Cloverbud. I can't wait to see how this story will go. I'm very interested... ~Ra'akone
Berserko 2008-05-05 ch 1,	abuseRG :] I like this in a few ways. One, I like the idea of animals(especially those normally seen as housepets) in a war with each other. And not just a nature war like they're normally at, but like a manmade war, with weapons and everything. It also made me giggle a bit. Not for bad reasons, but just because the premise amuses me. :3
KnittingKneedle 2008-05-05 ch 1,	abuseHi, this is a little welcome to the review game review! Man, I haven't read an anthropomorphic (wow, that's hard to spell!) story since Redwall, those are really good books if you ever wanted to check them out :) You started with action which is always a great way to get a story started. I think fictionpress screwed this up but in the part about the wolf destroying her family, 'cloverbud' got seperated from the next paragraph. I think you have a good level of detail and pacing...man I wish I was this good when I was your age! I thought it was quite funny that everyone has quite naturey not heard often before names and that you have a chipmunk called Kirsten- I'm sure there's a story behind that. All in all, pretty good job for a first chapter.

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