|Reviews for Lazarus, A Story|
| The Abstract Dualist 9/25/08 . chapter 1
Really, really nice worldbuilding here-I like what you've done with the whole "Jupiter is the underbelly of the system" thing. Very nice.
The writing in general could use just a little bit more show and a little bit less telling. The section when he goes out to buy cigarettes is great-parts of the beforehand are not necessary. The fact that he intellectually recognizes pain before it hits could be interesting or weird...the cyborg thing could slice it either way. Bits of description with the bar aren't as necessary; I don't know about the steel grating and the roof. I understand the temptation to include them, if they're going to be important later, but it just seems overly-detailed in this spot.
Generally great! I love this world you've created.
| StarSplit144 5/8/08 . chapter 1
Some Zean backstory? Should be interesting.